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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She makes vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend helping her create material.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with another. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an audience. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the details, sharing them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, giving her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not all people enjoys being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal videographer, but friends support one another in small ways. I thought recording a clip now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I value our friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I get that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She must to honor Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some real memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their bond?